Keeping my mind healthy with 10

I mainly wanted to write this blog for myself. SO I can go back and remember all the things I did ( have done) to help me move forward.

 Staying healthy mentally was never something that was talked about growing up it it was never a subject that people would discuss so I kinda had to find out on my own things that helped me Stay in the moment, move forward and let go or just stay in a peaceful place.



1.  SAMe.  Jarrows SAMe is all natural medication that has helped me stay on track and keep my mind at ease.  It’s sometimes prescribed as a natural antidepressant and  I did take it when I was battling depression so were years ago and I still take it to this day. You can purchase it on Amazon for a good deal!

2. Meditation. I made it a practice to meditate for at least 5 minutes ( trying to increase to 10) each morning. Shutting my mind off is good training for when I feel overwhelmed and I can try to shut the thoughts off when I feel anxious.

3. Trees. Yes, real trees. I would go to a park that wasn't too close to a street (to avoid distractions) and sit under the tree and just sit. No music. no phone. alone. and I would listen to the wind and leaves move. I would sit for about 15 minutes maybe more and just relax.


4. Real food. I would stock up on fresh fruits and veggies from a farmer market and eat as much as I could because real food will always be better then processed food.

5. Write. I would write and write (kind of like I am now but way more deep) I would write and write in a notebook that NO ONE was allowed to read - to let out some huge confessions and thoughts that came up and I needed to write down and let it out.


6. Fast. Now most fast from food. I fast from social media. With being bombarded with social media, like, follows, pictures.....sometime to calm down I detach to be more in the moment.


7. CR. Celebrate Recovery is a Christian based group therapy program that is a safe place to also let out emotions and thoughts. I  was in a program a few years ago and I was in that program for roughly 2 years and it was a huge help her for me.


8. Build. I love Legos. So when I started to feel anxious or get down on myself I would get legos and start building. I started a lego collection and I want to start building more with HP legos since Potter is my ultimate favorite.


9. Library. Different but going to a library and sitting and just reading has helped me so much.

10. Pray. Yes I know you probably rolled your eyes and thought "what a cliche that a Pastors wife would say pray." But yes, pray. I pray and talk to God mainly in the car so no one interrupts me. I pray and as I pray and ask to show me what to read in the Bible and I have my Precious Moments bible with me and I will read what God shows me.


SO there ya go. A peaceful mind is a happy mind. Staying healthy meantally  is a huge priority for me so I take it very seriously and I do what I can to stay in a good place.


 Thank you for reading this!  I hope something I wrote down you will try it out and it helps.

Utopia

I first heard Utopia from a movie called "Ever After." I adore this movie and this movie introduced me to a book called "Utopia" which is the idea of having  a perfect socio-politico- legal system. Utopia was also brought up in the movie The Village by M. Night Shamallan where the cast tried to hide in a wilderness preserve park of some sort and create their own “perfect” world.

Utopia is a perfect idea in the human mind in which a world can function without hate, anger, hurt, dislike or any "uncomfortable" feeling brewing in us. Utopia is the world that we all want in which people love each other, there are no enemies, you may walk and go anywhere in this perfect world because we all love each other, know each other and yet....we just prosper and walk without a care because we are in Utopia.

Is this idea even possible?

 In my young free spirited brain back in high school, I lived without fear of anyone or anything ( boy that explains that a lot...) but as time went on I started to really observe people and made quite a few mistakes...I still make mistakes…..but anyways some mistakes have costed me friendships, others have caused people to view me differently and I started to feel as if my Utopia was no longer in effect. I strongly thought I had more enemies than friends, then I had a fear of living in a world that I had no place and that I simply didn't belong.

Then several things dawned on me:

1. This world ISNT meant for us because we are saved, we are followers of Christ living in a world ruled by sin and the devil so of course I feel out of place.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

This world wasn't meant for sin but disobedience happened and now this world is ruled by evil while good walks around fighting it to the death.

2. Utopia is impossible in a world full of sin because mistakes and hurts occur on a daily basis. It is impossible for the word "perfect" to even be compared in a world full of evil and sin.

Romans 5:12 “Sin came into the world through one man, and his sin brought death with it. As a result, death has spread to the whole human race because everyone has sinned.”

3. As a Christ follower, we have not received the spirit of fear for greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.

Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them! For the Lord your God will be with you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31: 6 TLB

So what if people don't like you? So what if you run into someone you don't like or care for? So what if you come across people who you had to cut off? What can they possible do to you?

Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will bring me safely through them. You will clench your fist against my angry enemies! Your power will save me. The Lord will work out His plans for my life -- for your loving-kindness, Lord, continues forever. Don’t abandon me -- for you made me. Psalm 138: 7-8

 I had always feared the embarrassment or guilt of having to associate with someone who knew the old me. Or seeing a person who witnessed me make mistakes, say/do foolish things and act on foolish thoughts. Also, I had the fear of the thoughts that other people had towards me due to someone lying about me, believing a false image of me; not considering the fact that the Lord was and is changing me daily.

And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until His task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns. Philippians 1: 6

Utopia is only possible in heaven and that is a FACT. It can never be on here. True the Bible states that even when a man’s ways please the Lord it causes even his enemies to be at peace with him ( Proverbs 16:7) This verse applies to us but the reality is no matter what we say, no matter what we do there will always be people talking about you. People will always assume an image of you and run with it whether it is true or not. People will perceive you as one way but then perceive you as another way....it’s like trying to figure out a rubix cube and all the colors represent different views people have of you.

These views can warp a person into being a “man-pleaser” and coming from someone who used to be co-dependent, it is possible to create a Utopia just as long as YOU are happy. Being a man pleaser is exhausting; it tires you and makes you so.......depressed because you are trying to make everyone happy other than yourself. Bummer.  

So as these things were dawned on me and began to see Utopia for what it is.....a lie. I also saw that we CAN have Utopia but with God. Having a strong bond with the Lord and being totally in love with Him we create a Utopia for ourself and God, no one is involved in our world. I love having that frame of mind. There is freedom in letting God be in control and having Him carry my burdens and no longer worry about who is thinking and doing what.

Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Sure I made mistakes, who hasn't. People don't like me and don't care to ever see me.....who doesn’t have that? And yet as you make mistakes you sit back and ponder will it matter 5 years from now? 10 years from now? 20 years from now? Only if you let it.

As far as Utopia......it exists in my heart with God. And will come to past in heaven.

Rice

After a trip to the grocery store, I arrived home exhausted with so much heaviness on my mind. I held onto a bag of rice that I purchased and just glanced at it over and over again and started to ponder back when I wrote about Utopia and how impossible it is to have a "perfect" world around us because we're going to make enemies, people will dislike us for whatever reason and people will have these so unusual conclusions about us, especially since we are saved.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

But as I glanced at the rice over and over again I saw this world as that bag of rice. I opened it and grabbed a tiny bit of it, there were about 14 of them. So these 14 pieces of rice just stayed in my hand and I just kept staring at them and I saw them representing people who may/may not like me, they represented people who just don't want to see me and think negatively of me. After I had that set in my mind I took the rice and put it back in the bag and then shook it up a bit. I looked back into the bag and the rice all looked the same, I couldn't distinguish the ones I held versus all the other rice and that’s how I needed to see these people who "don't like" me. There just blend into everyone else, get lost in the crowd of people on this earth that the chances of us seeing them again are slim to none really. This world is HUGE so why worry about a handful of people who "don't like" you. They are just grains of rice blending into this world with all the other pieces of rice.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

Yes people are going to view you in different lights such as the rubix cube ( each color represents a view of you) BUT also keep in mind that as long as you are in right standing with GOD, the creator of this whole world, GOD who with a breathe of air made man out of dust and made woman out of a rib, GOD who has this whole planet in the palm of His hand, GOD who created you and all those people in the first place sees you as perfect and sinless and totally completely loved in His eyes.....THAT is the most powerful revelation and FACT anyone can have buried in their soul.

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

God made these people who see you "differently" and yet their creator loves you. God loves you regardless of who you are and what you've done. Those people didn’t die on the cross for you, Jesus did! Those people didn't love you enough to die on a cross for you and take that punishment for you and gave you the opportunity to go to heaven instead of burning in hell, GOD DID THAT FOR YOU!

JOHN 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

So these pieces of rice that you worry over....they're just rice. They're just human beings. They can do nothing but think whatever they want. Their brains can picture whatever they want but that doesn’t mean anything, THEY are not perfect, they have sins in their life so let that rice go. Forget the rice. Look up and see who really matters. God does.

Isaiah 55:6-7 Seek the LORD while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the LORD, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon.

I have been made innocent of any sin committed, I have been set free from every charge of sin, I have been cleared of all blame and guilt of sin, and I am in right standing with the Father.

God is a God of FORGIVENESS. Period. And everyone else......


They're just rice.  

Love

Everyone wants love. Wants to be loved. Wants to know that there is someone there who they can be with and talk to. Love is powerful. It is patient. Kind. Love brings life into people. Doesn't not envy. It fulfills the law. Builds up people. Perfect love casts out fear.

LOVE NEVER FAILS.

"God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God and God in him." 1 John 4:16

I think a huge myth with love people mistake love with gifts, sexual emotions, expensive dates, and even saying "I love you" over and over again. Love is suppose to make us feel good and it seems oh so pretty but really…… We tend to forget that human love does fail because we disappoint, but Gods love never fails. Ever.

 And for me, I want to give God's perfect love to my husband. I want to be a Virtuous Wife (Proverbs 31:10-30) to my husband.  Love is not just buying things and talking everyday on the phone, it is not a feeling either. It is a commitment. A commitment to your spouse. It is giving up of yourself and putting them first. Their wants, needs, loving them and taking care of them. It is the overreaching principle in a meaningful relationship.

For us to really be able to give true love we need to be filled with the one who IS love. Our Lord.
“For He who does not love does not know God. For God is love. 1 John 4:8”

Love is a decision of commitment, a trust established, and love is a never failing emotion.  To me, it only makes sense to fill yourself up with Gods love because He gave His life for us, His love for us to have eternal life is what REAL love is and yes I'm not God, but I want to love like Him. I want to be able to have that God-filled love that I can share with my husband. Not just gifts or a basket full of emotions…..but a real commitment and dedication to him and our marriage as one. God is love and to know love you must know Him

"And now abide in faith hope and love these three: but the greatest of these is love."

Love is powerful, love is real. And I know that people out there wonder a lot where is my spouse? God did you forget about me?? No He hasn't.

"Refrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears; for your walk shall be reawarded," says the Lord." 1 Timothy 6:6

Be patient, God knows your heart and He will send you the one perfect for you! I promise.

God gives the best to those who leave the choice with Him.

 

Hope

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently."
Romans 8:25

To me Hope is what keeps you alive...keeps you going......it’s all a person has left sometimes. Hope is an anchor for the soul. Is Alive in Us. Makes you happy. Brings rest. Purifies. Makes you bold. Delights the Lord. Doesn't disappoint. Strengthens the heart. It does all this....and more.

When people hope for something, they wait for it patiently, they pray every day and just believe and trust God has it taken care of. I've been hoping for something for a LONG time, something that I must wait for, something that I want but can only have in Gods time. Now….its not my time to have this. Though I really want it, I know if I have it now, it wouldn't work out. What is it?

A husband. But not just any man, a godly man, a man who loves the Lord more than he loves me…that's right! A man who fears and loves the Lord is what I desire.

Ephesians 5:23-25  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her

If there is going to be a man who is going to be the head of me and my family then he better be a man of God. This is something that I don’t intend to just pick on my own or just accept anyone; this task belongs to the Lord. He is the creator of the universe so I’m certain He knows what He’s doing in terms of what’s best for me. He knows everything.

1 John 3:20  “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.”

Told ya J What do I do if I can't marry now? I live. I go to school and do a good job, I go to work and live it with all my life, I come home to clean and paint and read books and spend time in devotions. I see this time as a time to grow closer to God, because right now He is my love, He is my focus, He gives me strength "Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength."

It is hard to wait, it’s very easy to lose hope and do things your way but believe me, following God and waiting on Him is the best thing for me…..and for anyone. I have hope knowing that as long as I stay in His will, I will receive His blessings. I still hope that God is bringing the right man into my life, I still hope that someday I will get married…I still have the hope. It drives me to live; it drives me to stand strong in the Lord. To find a man who loves God and who loves me with all his heart will be the most wonderful blessing of my life, believe me I want this so much….but when it is time. I love Jesus Christ more than anything and I want to please and honor him…so therefore I wait.

 

And Hope.

 

Faith

Hebrews 11:1

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Faith is what I live by day in and day out. Faith is believing for something that you can't even see, or basically having confidence and trust in something or someone. Faith purifies our hearts. More precious than gold. It can bring a blessing. Overcomes the world.....it can even move mountains. Yep it can!!

For truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you.
Matthew 17:20

What I like about faith is it speaks and heals. Faith even pleases God.

Now most people have lost their faith and I don't blame them. I almost lost mine. People loose faith due to hurt, pain, disappointment. I know, I was there. After all my trails and pain, I started to loose my faith, I didn't want to believe in anything anymore. But something inside me told me to never give up.....to keep believing. I couldn't understand everything that was going on but I kept my faith. I didn't understand but God did.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your OWN understanding." Proverbs 3:5

So I picked myself up and started to rest on my faith once again and what happened?? Everything!!! My whole world changed, God opened up a world of possibility, friendship, love and a desire to live life to its fullest. It was my faith in God that kept me going.

Yes I can't physically see God but it's like the wind. Can you see the wind? I've never seen the wind, I've seen the affects of the wind and I know all of you have. I know the wind is there, I feel it. Wind is powerful....well so is faith. Faith is the evidence of things unseen. We can't see God but we can see His works through others and through us. I'm an example of it....I went through the storm but God healed and protected me. If my faith can save me, yours can. 

Then you probably say "But, it's hard to believe in what you can not see." But I tell you, when you have faith, you will see the unseen. You need to walk by faith, not by sight. Walk in faith knowing that God is directing your path….He is the lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. He is there guiding you, protecting you just have in knowing that He has wonderful things in store for you.

Don’t be a doubting Thomas! BELIEVE!!!

 

Walk by Faith

I attended a women's tea gathering at a local church with my mother. It was a lovely brunch where I got to meet some wonderful women and fellowship about family, life and everything in between. After we ate, we heard a message from Janelle Webster and these are her notes. I will also add some of my own personal thoughts that came to me as she spoke.
Janelle started off by showing us a group of shoes. She said most women have many pairs of shoes ( I know I do!) and she shared some of the shoes she has in her own closet and how they can be related to our relationship with God:

Slippers- slippers are comfortable, slippers feel great. When you wear slippers you normally don't go out, you just stay in one place because it's comfortable. Our relationship with God can grow comfortable. You want to go out but what for? You are comfortable with where you are so why not just stay there? Even if you are told you need to change, you don't because it's too comfy right here.

Army boots- These boots are tough, hard, they symbolize discipline and routine. You wear these boots to get the job done, they are extremely durable. Our relationship with God can become routine like, where our relationship is a check list. Prayer: check Devotion: Check Worship: Check and it's almost like your relationship is a duty rather than a......relationship.

Flip flops- These shoes are very casual. I have a pair of flip flops that I personally go to even when it's a cold day. If I can't find them I think, "Oh man I have to put on real shoes." But at times, we put on flip flops so casually without even thinking about it and our relationship with God becomes so casual that we do things without thinking ( I went through that earlier where I started to loose focus and sight and almost fell off and God had to bring me back on)

Stiletto- These shoes are some of my favorite shoes, they are so colorful and big and shiny, they are just so good looking. But boy they can be a pain to wear! I love heels but after awhile they just flat out hurt my feet, it's difficult to wear them but man do they look good. And often our relationship with God becomes so painful and hard to deal with it, but we don't want to face truths of what is happening so we put on this image that on the outside we have it all together, we look all good and shiny on the outside but on the inside we are in pain. We are crying, hurting ad just wanting to get rid of it all but we don't want anyone to know it so we continue to act like we are doing ok, we keep up that "It's all good" image.

Rain boots- When storms come we pull out the good 'ol rain boot. Now these are not boots we put on often, only when a storm comes. God at times become our protection only during the storms because we feel that we do a pretty good job at protecting ourselves during everyday life that we only wear God during the storms. For me, I took it as I only run to God and make Him my protection and source of comfort when things get difficult, much like a rain boot, God is seasonal.

Shoes that are falling apart- We all have that one pair of shoe that we have worn so much that it's falling apart, it's like wearing a rag ( for me it was a pair of heels that the heel was worn down to the tip) With this shoe we are wearing, our relationship with God is barely a relationship at all, we are so worn down and falling apart that it's on the brink of being thrown out.

Athletic shoes- These are really good shoes. These shoes represent that we are active! We are moving, pushing hard, moving forward towards what God has for us. We are on the go and that's a great place to be - on the move!  I always wear my best athletic shoes when I'm about to go on my longest and most enduring hikes. Janelle said and I agree that this is good place to be in with God, when you are moving with Him.

Nurse shoes- I don't have a pair of these shoes but I have seen them often out and about. Nurse shoes are white, they are clean and they can symbolize purity. With God, we can get to a place where we are pure at heart. My mom took the nurse shoes, you are healing with God, you are getting comfort. God is helping you heal and is nursing you.


Now of ALL of these shoes Janelle said a great combination to be at in our walk with God is to become the white tennies shoe.


White tennis shoe- these shoes are comfortable, durable, reliable, keeps us moving, they are ( like the nurse shoe) are pure and clean. We move into a place with God where our relationship is not about us but about loving God and loving others. We are moving with God, we are going and we are also examining ourselves along the way as we pursue him.


Yet often in life, circumstances will cause us to change our shoes - we have on our white tennis shoes but then circumstances happen and we change shoes. I can honestly say that in the year 2014 I have put on every single pair of shoes listed and it's only April so I clearly have some ground to cover and stability to gain. As circumstances in life happen, God wants us to keep our shoes on and keep going - don't let your faith change. God is constant so our faith in Him should remain constant. He's not to change His love for us and we need to walk by faith and keep going with Him.


As a reminder to walk by faith - all of the women received tiny shoe key chains. Mine is green ( favorite color!)